


Leon Sets the Record Straight

by Engineerd



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Postwickshipping Prompt Week, Vlogger AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engineerd/pseuds/Engineerd
Summary: “Hey folks, Leon here. It’s come to my attention that my baby brother and the champion have been presenting the story of how they got together as super undramatic and boring. This is - how do I say - a blatant LIE. The drama, people. The anxiety. The brutally honest details about my baby brother’s sex life-”
Relationships: Hop/Yuuri | Gloria
Comments: 15
Kudos: 253





	Leon Sets the Record Straight

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to Miki and the postwick discord for inspiring the vlogger AU! Happy postwickshipping week, everyone!

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight (1,259,543 views) (200,485 likes) (3 dislikes)  _

_ 00:00 _

“Is it on?” Leon asks, looking at someone over the camera. He must see an affirmative, because he smiles and looks directly into the lense. “Hey folks, Leon here. It’s come to my attention that my baby brother and the champion have been presenting the story of how they got together as super undramatic and boring. This is - how do I say -”

Leon’s voice gets filtered deeply and echoed like a demon. 

“ -  _ not at all true.” _

The filter goes away as he continues talking as normal. “And if I had to live through that rubbish, so do you guys. Here it goes.” 

The screen flashes with an animation: LIE #1

The screen cuts to a clip from Gloria’s channel that she’d posted a year earlier.  _ “How did we get together? We were always kind of together, I think. We knew we would be a couple.We had our first kiss when we were five, although Hop doesn’t like to acknowledge it.”  _

Past-Hop comes into the shot.  _ “That’s because it wasn’t our first kiss. We had our first kiss when we were three. I don’t remember it, but my mum has a picture.”  _

The screen cuts back to Leon. “Alright, the kiss story is actually true,” he admits. “They have that picture framed in their house now. The blatant LIE is that they knew they would be a couple. The  _ drama,  _ people. The  _ anxiety.  _ The  _ brutally honest details about my baby brother’s sex life-” _

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’ (765,340 views) (43,189 likes) (173 dislikes)  _

_ 00:32 _

“-Leon is COMPLETELY exaggerating,” Gloria says. “First of all, we were teenagers, and there was nothing more than a wee bit of the average teenage drama. Second of all, we never told Leon anything about our sex life, right Hop?” 

She looks off camera. “Hop?” 

“...about that,” Hop says off screen. 

Gloria looks into the camera with raised eyebrows. “I’ll be right back,” she says, and the video cuts off. 

* * *

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight  _

_ 02:46 _

“Let’s start this story with what I consider their real first kiss,” Leon says. “Young Hop is 12 years old to the day. It was his birthday, after all, so I came home to surprise him - and lo and behold, he wasn’t there! My parents said he was out playing with his best friend, Gloria. I’d heard a million things about Gloria at this point, but I hadn’t met her yet, so I decide to go try and look for them. To be honest, I got a little lost on all the backwoods walking trails, but I managed to run into Hop as he was running out. And he had  _ lip gloss.  _ On his  _ lips.  _ At  _ twelve.  _ I know because it was the most sickly-sweet smelling lip gloss in the world. 

“‘Oh my goodness, Hop,’ I said, shocked at the kid’s game. ‘You were just kissing your girlfriend, weren’t you?’

“And you know what he said? ‘Gloria’s not my girlfriend,’ he had the audacity to tell me. ‘It was just a birthday present, that’s all.’”

LIE #2 flashes across the screen as Leon shakes his head at the camera. “I swear to Arceus they did this every year. For  _ years. _ ”

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’  _

_ 00:59 _

“Hey everyone, I’m back,” Gloria says. Her cheeks are flushed. “Moving on - yes, Hop and I did do birthday kisses starting when we were twelve, but that’s a normal thing. Friends can give single friends kisses for their birthday.” 

She looks at the camera expectantly for two seconds, and then looks down and sighs. “Yeah, I just heard that come out of my mouth, too. Look, I can admit we were into each other back then  _ now,  _ alright? But you think you can tell a twelve year old to just confess their crush to their best friend? That stuff’s  _ terrifying.”  _

* * *

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight  _

_ 03:33 _

“Moving on,” Leon says, scooting over to the right half of the frame. “Let’s talk about what they started doing in their gym challenge. I’ve got a special eyewitness for this segment - Professor Sonia Magnolia, everybody!” 

A clapping audience sound effect plays as Sonia sits down next to Leon. “Hello, everyone,” she said. “I’m not usually one to drag out people’s private business, but just so Hop and Gloria know-”

The camera zooms in on Sonia’s face.

_ “This is revenge for all the lab shagging.”  _

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’  _

_ 01:12  _

Gloria smirks at her screen where she’s watching Leon’s video, and then looks up at the camera. “Sonia? No regrets.” 

* * *

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight  _

_ 03:51 _

“So Hop and Gloria, as you all may know, entered their gym challenge together the first year they were old enough,” Leon starts.

“Which is pretty young to be traveling around the region on your own, to be fair,” Sonia says. 

“As his older brother and League champion, I knew Hop didn’t travel with Gloria a lot of the time,” Leon continues. “They battled each other fairly frequently, but nothing that seems too out of place for a rival-”

“Oh, they  _ battled,  _ all right,” Sonia interrupts, waggling her eyebrows. 

Leon frowns over at her. “I was getting to that.” 

Sonia waves him off. “Let me tell this story. Okay, so I was trying to catch up with Gloria and Hop in Circhester to gather information about Galar’s historical landmarks they’d come across, and I caught them  _ making out.  _ Out _ side.  _ In the  _ snow. _

“I stopped dead of course, but they noticed me before I had the chance to escape. It was already awkward enough, so I tried to make a joke out of it, you know? I was all, ‘Oh, sorry you two, I didn’t realize you were on a date.’ And then Gloria, without taking her hands off the collar of Hop’s jacket, just turns and stares at me and says, ‘We’re not on a date. This is just stress relief.” 

“ _ Stress relief,”  _ Leon echoes emphatically. 

LIE #3 flashes across the bottom of the screen in bright letters. 

“And then Hop added: ‘we’re just two friends trying to relax,’ and I just lost it,” Sonia continues. “ _ Just friends.  _ Honestly. And once they knew I knew about it, they started being super lax around me. It was like all concept of personal space around each other had just turned off. There’s friends with benefits, and then there’s trying to use your fork with your wrong hand because you didn’t want to stop holding your boyfriend’s hand,  _ Gloria. _ ”

“When they realized they’d have to go up against each other in the final bracket, I think they both almost cried,” Leon says. “I took them out for dinner that night and they tried to ditch me before dessert. Spent the whole night cuddling, probably.” 

_ “As friends,”  _ Sonia adds. 

Leon rolls his eyes. “Right. As  _ friends.”  _

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’  _

_ 01:28 _

“Wow, where to even begin with that,” Gloria says. “First of all, Hop and I were not  _ right  _ outside Circhester. We’d set up a campsite a good ways back from the route to let our pokemon out. She had to specifically come looking for us.”

“Which she was,” Hop says off-camera. “Looking for us, I mean.” 

Gloria looks over in the direction of his voice. “Are you sure you don’t me for this video?” 

“I don’t want any part of this,” Hop says. “You and Leon can both keep me out of it.” 

“He literally made a video about  _ us,”  _ Gloria argues. “Besides, you’d be on my side. Fiancee beats brother.” She looks back at the camera. “Both in the stadium and in vlogging.” 

Hop sighs and walks into the frame, crouching down next to her chair so both their faces are in view of the camera. “I’m not a master strategist, luv, but you might not win this one.” 

Gloria cracks her knuckles and stares down the camera. “I’m going to try. And for the record, we didn’t try to ditch Leon on that dinner. He’d brought us to this incredibly fancy restaurant and there were about a million courses and I was  _ tired.”  _

“We did cuddle that night though,” Hop says. “And you didn’t say anything else about Sonia’s part of the story.” 

Gloria freezes. “Ok,” she admits. “We were all over each other, that was true. But we weren’t dating.” 

Hop turns to the camera as well. “Not for lack of trying,” he whispers conspiratorially. 

* * *

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight  _

_ 05:27 _

“Let’s skip ahead to the fantastic years after the gym challenge,” Leon says. “This is one of my favorite stories. Young Hop, age 16, comes up to me and announces with no small amount of dread, ‘ _ Lee, I think I’m in love with Gloria.’  _

“I just kind stare at him and say, ‘Good for you?’

“And then he started the pacing. ‘No, not good for me,’ he was very insistent about. ‘I can’t believe I developed  _ feelings  _ for  _ Gloria.  _ She’s my best friend. This is going to ruin our friendship.’

“And I said, ‘Haven’t you guys been dating for the last two years?’ 

“And he turns and glares at me like  _ I’m  _ the idiot, and says no. To my face.” Leon shakes his head. LIE #4 flashes across the screen. 

“You all don’t understand,” Sonia says. “Gloria used to bring Hop lunches in the lab a few days a week.” 

“He went to all her matches,” Leon adds. 

“They kissed hello and goodbye.” 

“They went camping together regularly. These were all dates.” 

“All of them dates,” Sonia agrees. 

“So Hop, after confessing his love to Gloria  _ to me,  _ then asks how to make it stop,” Leon says. “It’ll make it weird, he said. I told him it was the exact same thing he’d already been doing.” 

“Oo, oo, can I share my favorite story next?” Sonia asks. Leon nods, and she smiles at him excitedly. “Alright. It was the year Gloria turned 18. There was a formal party after the championship. Gloria  _ foolishly  _ tells someone that she is single, and then guys try asking her to dance all night.” 

“So she spent all night dancing with Hop?” 

“Oh, he was so jealous,” Sonia agrees. “He did work up the guts to try and leave her a few times though, and she was  _ not having it.  _ I thought for sure that night would kickstart something.”

“Well, they definitely did it afterwards, if that’s what you mean,” Leon says. 

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’  _

_ 02:35 _

“Heck yeah, we banged that night, Sonia,” Gloria says. “In  _ YOUR LAB!” _

Next to her, Hop shakes his head at the camera. “It was not in the lab,” he whispers. He takes a dramatic pause, and adds, “that time.” 

* * *

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight  _

_ 06:53 _

“Wow, you really did get all the lurid details,” Sonia says. “Hit me. How many lab shags were there?”

“It would be kinder not to tell you,” Leon says, and ignores Sonia’s jaw dropping open in outrage. “Moving on - let’s hit the ugly truth of how they  _ actually _ got together.”

“Wait,” Sonia says. “How many?”

Leon just turns his head to stare at her. 

“How many, Leon?” she whispers. 

“I think you know how many,” he says, something like pity in his voice. He clears his throat and whips back to the camera. “Moving  _ on _ -”

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’  _

_ 04:22  _

Gloria and Hop are laughing too hard to say anything. Their giggles die down for a few seconds, but then they make eye contact and burst out guffawing again. They’ve been like this for over 90 seconds. 

* * *

_ Leon Sets the Record Straight  _

_ 06:53 _

“Moving  _ on, _ ” Leon says, “we come to this monstrosity.”

An old video clip takes over the screen; it’s from Champion Gloria’s channel, just a few years ago.  _ “Hey, guys,”  _ she says.  _ “Wild area is closed today, so we’re staying indoors. The name of the game is who knows the other better? Me or Hop?”  _

“Ah,” Sonia says. “The famous newlywed game.” 

“The one and only,” Leon agrees. 

The clip continues.  _ “So as you may know, the rules of the game are-” _

Leon fasts forward. “Blah, blah, blah. Hop and Gloria already know everything about each other-”

“They were already ‘roommates’ at this point,” Sonia says. “If they ever actually slept in separate beds, I’ll eat my hat.” 

“You don’t have a hat.” 

“Your hat,” she corrects. “You’re lucky I’m not wrong.” 

“You’re not,” Leon agrees, and stops the video. “Look, here’s the part where they realize Gloria clearly didn’t vet the questions.”

_ “Who initiates bedroom activities first?” Hop reads off the list. “Let’s skip the guessing. It’s me, clearly. We’ve already established that I’m the clean one, so I’m the one that always throws a load of sheets in the laundry.”  _

_ Gloria stares down at the list, blushing bright red. “Um, yeah. Hey, maybe we should call it a day, lovely viewers-” _

_ “Aw, come on, one more question,” Hop says. “We need to break the tie.” He looks down at the list again. “When it comes to positions, is your spouse a purist, a mambo, or a game of twister?” He wrinkles his nose. “That almost sounds like it’s talking about sex positions. What’s it supposed to be referring too?” _

_ “BATTLE POSES!” Gloria yells loudly.  _

_ “Oh,” Hop says, writing something down on his whiteboard.  _

_ “You’re a traditionalist!” Gloria blurts out, and her blush becomes becomes even more noticable.  _

_ “You got me,” Hop says, and then turned around to show his white board to the camera. “You like to put a good twist on a classic position-” _

_ “Moving on,” Gloria interrupts. She picks up the list and starts flipping through the pages.  _

_ “Whoa, whoa, you’re skipping questions,” Hop says, grabbing the list by the top corner and tugging it out of her grip. “You can’t skip the questions you don’t know, that’s cheating-” _

_ “Hop-” _

_ “Who is more likely to send a surprise nude pic?” he reads, eyebrows furrowed, and then glances at the camera with a guilty expression. “That’s a weird question to be on here. We obviously don’t do that.” He’s obviously lying.  _

_ “Hop, just turn the-” _

_ “When was the first time you got intimate with your partner?” he reads, and then skips to the next one. “Who is more likely to invite someone else to the bedroom - Gloria, these are couple questions! These are sex questions for couples!” _

_ “I didn’t read the whole list!” she defends. “There are 250 questions, and a lot of sections! I didn’t go over them one by one-” _

_ “And for the record,” Hop interrupts, “You better not be inviting someone else to our bedroom.”  _

Leon pauses the video. “Gloria forgot to edit out the ‘our’ in that statement.” 

“I think she barely edited this video at all,” Sonia says. “That sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. They locked themselves in that bedroom for two days straight - I know, because Hop called out of work - and then she posted it just in time to meet her scheduled deadline.” 

Leon turns to look into the camera. “And you, lovely viewers, are not idiots, and caught on, and then Gloria and Hop decided to try and convince everyone they’ve been dating the whole time.” He starts doing a rather terrible Hop impression with a nasally voice. “Yeah, we’re just dating now, Lee. No, it wasn’t dramatic.” 

“Gloria’s my girlfriend,” Sonia adds, in her own very inaccurate high-pitched impression. “Gloria’s always been my girlfriend.” 

“It was this moment,” Leon says, “And yes, it was torture in the meantime.” 

* * *

_ Champion Gloria Reacts to ‘Leon Sets the Record Straight’  _

_ 05:30 _

“It was not that moment,” Gloria rebukes. 

“Gloria-” Hop starts, sounding weary. 

“It was a thousand little moments every day ever since I can remember,” she continues. Hop perks up and looks over to her. “And you don’t even know the half of it, Leon.” 

Hop stares at Gloria with obvious affection, and then turns back to the camera. “We actually were dating the entire time and kept it quiet for privacy reasons, like we’ve always said,” he says. “Lee and Sonia can bugger off.” 

Gloria starts laughing. “You’re ridiculous.” 

Hop lifts his hand to block most of the camera. There are a few thin slivers showing in between the cracks in his fingers. “You and me against the world, right?” 

“I love you,” she says. 

He kisses her, and the video ends abruptly.  __

  
  
  


__

**Author's Note:**

> THE END. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! please point out any mistakes, this was not edited whatsoever.


End file.
